The Narcissist ‘s Offense.

Lifestyle, Relationships, Self care
Quote from Quotecatalog.com.

If that was a depict of love…then I never want it.
An obsession laced and disguised as love.
So rigid and possessive to an extent of being toxic.
I assured myself that was his way of displaying affection.
I made myself feel I was entitled to such distorted attention.
I somehow believed karma had finally caught up with me for being cold-hearted and breaking a heart in my previous relation.
That I didn’t deserve to be treated any better, and that he had done me a great effort by coming into my life for that matter.
I took away the keys of my freedom and my heart, gave them to a man so selfish and so self inclined.
Blinded by the thought of being in love with love, I made myself a prisoner to someone’s exploits.
Thus, the mind, unguarded and irrational is a deadly den.

Image
As the shadow creeps in,remember there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

I felt pity for him, “how cruel the world had been to him, “I thought.
To swindle the sweet joys and memories of a young boy’s childhood.
Replacing them with pain, hurt and abuse into a young man’s adulthood.
I felt remorse for him, “maybe I can help ease his hurt, “I thought.
To show him what it meant to be loved and accepted despite all odds.
So much such that he distinguishes the real from the frauds.

At first, it was just us two.
Then along came the discovery of a baby, and a delusional baby mama.
At that point, I could have fled, but my desire and fixation of broken people, made me yearn even more for the drama.
I kept telling myself I was the bigger person and that I deserved such.
Thus my first mistake: I stayed, and accepted the tripod situation.
I was drained to the core and treated amiss all in the name of helping someone I thought I cared for.
I had transferred his hurt and pain to myself with no idea as to how it was to be catered for.
I took it upon myself to make him a better person and change.
To see in him what I wanted him to be, than the person that I was supposed to see.

But I was wrong.
So wrong to think I would teach an old dog new tricks.
So wrong to think I would be the one to make him change when it had failed his own mother’ nix.
So wrong to think that he wanted the transition…I was wrong in many ways.
I damned myself for not asking him if he wanted to reform.
Thus my second mistake: I ignored the unruly insults and abusive tendencies.
One minute he was happy and the next, he was rude and untamed.
For a moment my dreams were pushed aside all on a quest to persuade him to be a better version of his own self like an assessor.
No one deserves to be half loved, ridiculed and shown such unfair gestures as of an oppressor.

Once in a while you may feel like you are drowning, but ,you are not.

Thus the heart unguarded and desperate, fell prey to a selfish spaur.  Deep down I knew that it was neither my portion nor, was I meant to be in such an entanglement.
I had suffered emotional abuse in a relationship I looked forward to finding the opposite.
Alas, it dawned on me that I still held the anchor to my ship, and at that time I had to let go and sail on.
Hence, never will I ever ignore the red flags, or be on a verge to redeem someone.
I know my worth and take charge of my life and decisions…And so can you.

Emotional abuse is real, therefore be careful how you trade in a relationship.
If you happen to be going through an emotionally toiling union seek help as early as possible. Take care of yourself.
Lastly, Question yourself the following :
■ Is it worth my time and efforts?
■What value does the person bring to my life?
■Does it lead to fruition such as blessed matrimony? or a satisfactory partnership?

No abuse is acceptable. Get out of the closet and get help.

PS: This narrative poem expressed here is based truly on the writer’s experience.

So that’s it friends. If you have any advice you feel I should know in regards to relationships, be sure to write it down on the comment section below.

Happy reading.

Love Miss Nickiey.❤

Misconceptions under the African Sun.

Leisure, Lifestyle, Self care

As a kid, I always perceived the world as a vast globe full of endless possibilities. A place where anything, if imagined, was doable, a platform to achieve one’s hopes and dreams freely. Little did I know of the numerous misconceptions that engulfed my perception. However, the older I grew, the faster I began to fathom the truth and the reality that came with it.

MY TOP 5 MOOD LIFTING LIST.

Lifestyle

Ever been drained to the core or caught up in your feelings? Feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders and stuck in the pit of despair? For one I have, and in that moment of self-pity, I always turn to one, if not two of my mood lifting medicines. Below is my list of medicines.

Fire Playlist

Firstly, I chose the fire music playlist because as Arthur Schopenhauer said, “music is the food of the soul. Music changes you, regardless of whether good or bad. Being human beings, we are made up of the tiniest of vibrations, thus it goes without saying that we are receptive of the mix of vibrations and sounds(music) we are exposed to. Music acts as a booster and enables the brain to produce dopamine, the famous “feel good” hormone which aids alter your emotions thereafter. However 2 key things to a Killer Playlist:1. upbeat tempo. 2.containing powerful words of motivation, ambition or fulfilment.

Hiking

Hiking, like anything aerobic, is a mood-altering behaviour which enables the body to produce endorphins. High levels of endorphins make one feel calm, combat stress and reduce the amount of pain felt. Besides it being of physical benefit, hiking provides a sense of satisfaction ultimately boosting one’s overall mood as supported by the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine.

Baking

People who take part in small creative projects are reported to be happier and have a sense of satisfaction with their lives as, published in the Journal of Positive Psychology. Much like baking, it allows you to have a quiet moment away from your stress and negative thought processes, calm the mind, and reduce depression. It is purely therapeutic. Although baking can have a positive impact in lifting your mood, it is important to protect your mental health by thoroughly practising healthy eating.

Smash room

Other than seeking to be calm and collected. At times it’s best to act on that despair in none another way than opting for rage room or a car junkyard. As cheesy as it sounds, nothing is more exhilarating than shaking that depression off by breaking or smashing objects. However, while it may relieve stress and tension, this is a temporary measure to dealing with depression.

Coffee

There’s just that thing with coffee. According to healthline.com not only does it protect against cirrhosis, but it also contains essential nutrients, like riboflavin, manganese and the stimulant; caffeine which is a fat-burning supplement. Caffeine also acts as an anti-depressant with studies revealing that women who drink 4 cups per day are 20% less susceptible to depression. Remember, “Wùjíbifàn,” knowing the limit of what’s good for you is imperative. Thus be sure not to exceed six cups of coffee, as this increases the risk of heart disease by up to 20%.


And that is it for my Top 5 Mood lifter List. Feel at liberal to add onto the list on the comment section below.#AlotAboutEverything

BOSSING UP

Beauty, Health, Lifestyle, Self care

Bossin’up

BOSS LADY TIPS🔝

Being a woman is fine,being a lady is deemed noticeable, but being a boss lady is a whole package.Here are a few tips to be that lady.

  • Keep time.Always be conscious of how you spend your time.As they say time is money,make every second worthwhile and be accountable of how you manage your time.To help you do this, have a time journal to help you manouver through the day.

Lost time is never found again.

Benjamin Franklin
  • Make exercise your lifestyle.People who do so have sharp reflexes, feel refreshed,sleep better and have improved cognitive ability.Also exercise makes you feel happy and good about yourself, all thanks to the feel good hormones,endorphins which are emitted.

Exercise should be regarded as a tribute to the heart.

Gene Tunney
  • Rest like a Queen.Be sure to reflect on yourself as often.Monitor what you take into your body.Eat healthy and stay hydrated.Nourish the body as it’s the only place you will live in.

Don’t count the days,make the days count.

Muhammed Ali
  • Live off Affirmations.Repeat three to five affirmations in the mirror to yourself everyday.Words are powerful and the more you speak that which you believe to be,the more you see yourself as that which you say you are.

Whatever you are be a good one.

Abraham Lincoln
  • Have S.M.A.R.T goals.Ask yourself:
  1. Am I being specific on this goal I want to achieve?
  2. Is it measurable?If so what is the capacity which I must consider?How much is it? What is it’s cost?
  3. Is it attainable?Or am I being a little far fetched?Am I aligned with what I want to achieve?How can I get it?What must I do and where?
  4. Am I being realistic? Does the goal apply to me?Will it be beneficial?Can I have a step by step procedure to get there?
  5. Is it time bound?At what point must I begin and finish?As they say goals are dreams with dealines thus it is of great importance to be time conscious.Have a clear layout of when and at what age/stage of your life it has to be done and completed.

A goal properly set is halfway reached.

Zig Ziglar
  • Network.Have a database,no matter how introverted you are seek to have time to create a network.You can’t get to the top alone.

The man at the top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

Vince Bombardi
  • Streamline Responsibilities.Learn to build a routine around the tasks that you do daily,or weekly.The more you fashion yourself to do a task right the better you become at it.

Little by little,a little becomes alot.

Tanzanian Proverb
  • Make a budget…………and stick to it.Understand your expenses and income,so as to consolidate your debts.Also try to avoid unnecesary liabilities.Seek to attain profitable assets as early as you possibly can.

Too many people spend money they earned to buy things they don’t want…to impress people they don’t like.

Will Rogers
  • Increase your vocabulary.Learn with a purpose.Download a dictionary,or dictionary newsletter and try to learn a new word everyday.Also stay curious.Commit to something new each week.

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies….the man who never reads lives only once.

George R R Martin
  • De clutter your space.Clear your surroundings of all unnecessarily stuff and belongings.Be a minimalist.Also practise donating to charity, as this activates pleasure centers in the brain.

Clutter is one of the greatest enemies of efficiency and sealers of time.

Don Aslett

So that’s it folks,feel free to share your comments and don’t forget to follow!😉